C-R-U-S-H

So weird. I'm on my bed getting ready to sleep now, and I'm browsing on my phone the saved photos of Sir E. Then the music I'm listening to plays like,

"I remember the days when you're here with me…"

Suddenly, tears just start to flow down my eyes. I felt some kind of sadness.

I wonder why I felt like that so suddenly. It's like… something just hit me… something that's painful…

I don't know if I have to say this, but the truth is, what just made me cry -- though it's not what really the song is saying -- is the thought of admiring someone secretly… and knowing that you can't do anything about it. Thing… which have never occurred to me until now… just suddenly sank in to me. And I just realized… what the hell just happened.

I never actually took “it” seriously. He just really inspires me, and that I admire him so much. A simple crush -- just like that. As in C-R-U-S-H. That's all. But what's that just now? It seemed like… something just told me… that I wanted something different… something more. It was so ambitious of me.