Nobody

I feel so alone. MLA didn’t come to today’s intensive coaching for Immunology-Serology and Blood Banking class. I didn’t even have anyone beside me -- literally, none within my column.

Right now, I feel like freezing. Not because of the air conditioner, but because Sir E is just a step away in front of my seat! Since the start of our exam, I already bowed down my head, trying to hide my face. In fact, I didn’t even raise it for the whole time -- just once while ago when I made a quick glimpse in front to check if he have really arrived yet. Though my neck is already aching, I can’t again -- maybe later after this, during rationalization. Well, obviously, I have to look at the board.

But generally, why does it seem like I am always hiding from him? Why can’t I raise my head in front of him? Why can’t I show my face to him? Why can’t I ask him questions and clarifications? Why can’t I be like the others who can be so casual around him? Honestly, I just don’t want him to see me. I don’t want him to notice me -- to recognize me as reviewee or as his student.

All I want is to be able to see him, to hear him -- to admire him silently. Those are enough. No need for him to remember or even know that there’s someone such as me who was once became a part-taker of his life. After our review class here at PERC, I’ll just be like the wind -- something that’ll just come and go. After all, I’m just a nobody. That’s what I thought.